Job Description

It’s in Wikipedia, therefore it exists.
Here are the responsibilities of a system administrator (translated in girlish language):

Routine audits of systems and software = Counting how many useless messengers his wife installed and asking her to dumb questions like “Do you REALLY need all 10-15 of them? Could you please explain me why is it mandatory that all your messengers should start when you turn on your computer? “. When wife is answering his questions, the administrator repeats the explanations to himself at least 3 times: “So she installed Google Earth in order to see the map of the city she is living in…”

Performing backups = Introducing wife to his cute friends (wife wants to check if one of his friends might be a suitable partner for her single female friend)

Applying operating system updates and configuration changes = Doing something just for his wife’s sake [Upgrades: you know that annoying message „updates ready to install”? You cannot choose „install later” over and over again: in order to get rid of the message, you finally install the update. Configuration change: well, this usually comes with a ticket, so a sysadmin doesn’t have much choice, but to do the required changes (in his life)]

Installing and configuring new hardware and software = Creative in bed ;;)

Adding, removing, or updating user account information, resetting passwords, etc. = [User(s) management as in my definition: settings made by the administrator in order to make user’s life easier] = Little things that make the difference (like making coffee in the morning)

Answering technical queries. = Wife asking „how was your day?”, expecting him to answer “in English”

Responsibility for security = Protection for the moments wife is angry (ex. : Wearing helmet once in 28 days)

Responsibility for documenting the configuration of the system = [Nonsense. If it’s about documentation and writing reports, any IT guy will try to delegate this stuff to inferior level.]= Wife taking care of monthly balance sheet.

Troubleshooting any reported problems = Answering wife’s question: „Tell me whom you have been dated tonight and why”

System performance tuning = Adjusting his speech according to wife’s mood

Keeping the network up and running = Having a marriage that works?

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