Wife shopping

What’s the worst thing that inevitably happens to every married man every once in a while? He has to join the spouse while she is shopping. (Just lovely, isn’t it? You may never know if it comes as a revenge or not).

Here is how I managed to drag Manzel in more than 10 shoe stores:

Step 1: I defined my issues as “I would like some summer shoes for the office” (Please notice this girlish way of thinking. WOULD LIKE means “I’m not sure if I really want it; maybe it’s the shoes I want, maybe not. Anyway, I want a change”. SOME SHOES means- “new shoes, but no idea about details like shape, color, etc:)

Step 2: I managed to break the shoes that I bought last summer.

Step 3: I asked Manzel to repair the shoe with some glue: “Honey, I’m a girl and I do not know if this can be fixed. But if you take some glue, put it there like this and keep it like this, hold it for about 3 minutes, [blablabla-bla] than problem is solved. Oh, I wished I knew how to fix it by myself, otherwise I wouldn’t be asking you”

Step 4: After hearing all my non-senses about repairing shoes, it just didn’t matter if I could be right or not. So Manzel declared “Oh, crap, please buy some other shoes”

Step 5: Arguing time. With a whining voice, I started to argue that those shoes were special shoes (for all kinds of silly arguments, please use your imagination. When out of resources, you can pretend to cry while saying “and you think I’m just silly and all these are fake arguments”). The q.e.d of my performance was “So, please tell me where am I gonna find some other shoes?”

Step 6: When you ask questions, men usually answer. For them, the idea of rhetoric questions is just silly: If you don’t expect answers, why the hell are you asking questions?

In my case, he had to answer my question “where am I gonna find some other shoes?”.

Step 7: He joins me.

Step 8: Efficiency. Let’s go back to step #5. While arguing, I carefully mentioned to him “my shoes should have this color; I need high heels having this shape; the shape of the shoe should be like this… etc”. (In fact, I just delegate the problem. If they have a target in mind, joining spouse for shopping is less painful).

Step 9: Final results. Instead of spending 1 hour in one store, we spend 40 minutes in about 10 stores. He was looking for some product that would meet all my requirements, meanwhile I was screening everything and doing some fashion overview.

Step 10: If I’d like some second other new shoes in this summer, I should make up my mind in the next following days. I can just say I don’t feel comfortable wearing these ones.

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